Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Vol. 1, No.1


Robert Redford announced this week he'd be heading the super-spy agency SHIELD, in the next Avengers movie, tentatively titled Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Seriously. SHIELD, Falcon, Antman and Cap? It's an Avengers movie. During the announcement, Redford did stop to call Sam Jackson, and ordered him to start planning a field op where everyone involved with the new Gatsby remake will be taken out. Quietly.


Sorry Stephen Moffat, I'm still not confusing the American Sherlock Holmes show with the Benedict Cumberbatch one. No matter how hard I try. MAKE LONGER TV SEASONS BRITISH PEOPLE! Seven episodes of Downton Abbey is a season?


Roger Ebert died this week. (Wasn't Bert the tall one?) He taught us all that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, but not everyone feels obligated to share them. Who would have thought two middle aged movie reviewers could do so much, with just two thumbs up. The writers switched mediums just in time to stay relevant for a little longer than most newspaper reviewers. I can respect that.


Y'know hiring Bruce Campbell to introduce a commercial for your stupid remake won't make me go.

Circus Family?

Yes, there are plans going about to have a memorial statue made for Bil Keane comic strip creator of the long running Family Circus. It was looking like funding wouldn't happen until the last minute, until Not Me finally revealed himself to the public carrying one of those ridiculously large checks. Let's hope little Billy won't "fill-in" for the sculptor. http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/9a363681a45c4196bb2502df18a82d65/AZ--Keane-Statue


Before Watchmen is over? Seriously, is it over yet? You want to get me excited, how about have Marvel do a BEFORE BENDIS company-wide crossover? Am I right? Am I right? A line of pre-Bendis Marvel books to be followed by Joe Quesada signing his soul over to Mephisto at the start of a massive company-wide reboot called, "Like I was never here!"


I would have liked to see one particular Before Watchmen comic. Before Watchmen: The Squid. To be done right it would sound a lot like the whale coming to terms with it's own improbable existence while falling to the planet in Hitchhiker's Guide. But you might be one of those great moments of literary introspection. The Squid. I consider it an artistic challenge.


Cartoon Network's huge cartoon dump on Netflix streaming service earned the Network a 15% BUMP. Viacom and Nick have long complained about a downside to providing content to streaming services like Netflix, claiming lost ratings shares, but Cartoon Network just joined a short list of content providers that includes Disney XD, that actually saw increases in their ratings in Netflix subscribers homes. Nothing funny there just wanted to say crew you Viacom.


Apparently their were no negotiations between Conan O'Brien and TBS to produce a 12 am follow-up show Starring Jimmy Fallon. It was just a rumor started when reporters saw a cleaning crew at the old George Lopez studio and when pressed for comment, the crew responded, "for Jimmy Fallon. For when all the deals fall apart," Another worker said, "It could go to Leno if Jimmy has better lawyers than Conan did," another quipped, "Conan has it in his contract Leno can't have 10 pm, here at TBS, we got that Big Bang and Family Guy, besides Leno don't want to go up against no South Park reruns..."


Disney to lay off an additional 150. That makes the total, recent body count around 400. Some of that was due to the loss of The Clone Wars on the Cartoon Network. Hopefully some of those will get hired back as production gears up on any new Star Wars content for Disney networks.


My boss is finally caught up on Walking Dead, so the likelihood of my "suicide" by spoiler is now greatly lessened.


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