Monday, April 29, 2013

Vol. 1, No. 3


ALIENATION

It's been around a year now, that Michael Bay had first threatened to make a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie with one minor change. Changing the heroes from Mutants to aliens. But fear not! Our longstanding nightmare has ended. But no one is saying why, just yet.

http://www.blastr.com/2013-4-19/aliens-no-more-ninja-turtles-movie-title-back-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles


GUN CONTROL

Kent Hendrix, a forty-seven year-old Mormon bishop was one of several neighbors who came to the aid of a 35-year-old woman being attacked Tuesday morning. Hendrix was however barefoot and wielding a Samurai sword. Well there you go, proof you don't need military style, high-capacity guns to protect your house and family, there's no reason to not vote for that sensible gun registration bill now.

http://rare.us/story/mormon-samurai-bishop-runs-off-attacker-with-samurai-sword/


ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS

From our indefatigable sources, rumor has it Marvel will be expanding on both recent recent Spidey spectacles. Starting with the entire reboot of the Ultimate line with an entirely ethnic minority cast members, that's right all the main characters will be Black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American or other, no word yet on what will happen to existing characters of color. Maybe a White Falcon or White Storm? And already in the works depending on the success of the new Ultimate line, be prepared for Marvel to launch yet another alternative universe... "Fabulous" will an entirely gay line of books based on the exact same Marvel characters. Truly a house of ideas, that other people had back in the sixties. More details to come...


TRADING PLACES

As mentioned above, our indefatigable sources have heard Marvel will be expanding on both recent recent Spidey spectacles. Based on the success of Superior Spider-man. Marvel will be starting a new company wide crossover... SUPERIOR! Wherein Doc Ock was just the first arch-fiend to replace his longstanding foe. Yes the entire line of Marvel characters will be replaced with bad guys, but look out villains, one of the heroes isn't who you think! Could your one chance to finally defeat your arch nemesis be thwarted by one left-over Skrull!

And don't ask me how but the Hulk rides this one out off planet in his own crossover series where he takes a cue from the Green Lanterns and discovers his inner spectrum. Guest starring the new Brotherhood of Panthers, The Surfer Corps and the Spectrum of Witches. Truly a house of ideas, that other people had back in the sixties. More details to come...


A SPOILER SPOILER

Both Iron Man 3 and Star Trek 2 have had major plot points leak on the internet, mostly through reviews of international releases. So if you don't want these movies spoiled, especially the super secret villain of Star Trek that they have tried so hard to keep secret since the last film was still in theaters, SHUT OFF YOUR INTERNET, LOCK YOUR COMPUTER IN A CLOSET, DON'T WATCH TV, AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL ...   

DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE. PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT TO SAY. THEY WILL NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE YOU'VE KNOWN THEM, TELL YOU A STORY SLOWLY AND POINTLESSLY, THEY WILL NOT EVEN BURY THE LEAD, SO AS TO GIVE YOU EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE TO STOP THEM,
all the info will be organized in the sentence completely backwards to any way you could have known to stop them, "Did you have change for a quarter? And Harry Mudd, would you believe is the super secret character from the original series they have brought in to be the villain in the new Trek film, they've been keeping this secret since the last one was still in theaters. Who would have ever guessed... Harcourt Fenton Mudd."

Maybe we shouldn't place the responsibility for spoiler warning in the hands of the speakers, maybe we who want spoiler warnings should just star out every conversation with "WARNING! NO SPOILERS OR I WILL KILL YOU. I haven't seen it yet, whatever it is..."


YAWN

The film rights to Daredevil are back at Marvel Studios.


STORY IDEAS?

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A

Monday, April 22, 2013

Jimbo vs Iron Man 3











































We hope you enjoyed this episode of Jimbo's Toy Block Theater! Check out the ongoing discussion of Jimbo and other people having fun with Lego... At the League message boards

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Vol. 1, No. 2


Man of diamond

Superman turns Seventy-five this week. Earlier today the man of steel was honored by the President with a Disney themed children's Birthday Party. Festivities included many traditional birthday party events, some with a special 75th anniversary twists.

When asked about  the President's gift, Superman said, "It was a card, one of those Dan Piraro cards. This one has a Batman and Robin cartoon where Batman sees a HELP WANTED sign on a store and thinks it's a call for help." Superman chuckled, "It says Happy Bat Day inside."

Senators keeping within the diamond theme, conspired to take advantage of the rare visit by the sterling superhero to pay down the deficit. Each senator giving the man of steel, a lump of coal for him to super-squeeze into diamonds.

One White House staffer explained the Disney theme, saying it was an effort to coordinate with the new corporate owners of Superman's parent company. "That's the other guys..." said Superman, or at least claim those close enough to have heard the Kryptonian say something under his breath.

There was one sad note, after seeing Superman trying on a pair of x-ray specs that came with the goody bag, Metropolis crime reporter Lois Lane, suffered an as yet unknown attack and needed to be taken to the medic on site where she was reported to be delusional and calling out a name, "Clark." Presumably Daily Planet Co-Worker Clark Kent. A preliminary diagnoses has the usually tough as nails, girl reporter possibly just extremely dehydrated.

The Old 52

DC Comics fresh on the heels of their most recent company wide reboot, is planning on another company wide reboot, according to our sources. When asked for comment, a high level DC staffer wouldn't go on record as the new reboot is just in the planning stages. But he did say, "Reboots are great for us, so we are planning the ultimate reboot!"

He went on to say, this would be the ultimate reboot and no one would top it, DC was going to reboot ALL the previous reboots, and go back to the original continuity, everyone would return to their real-time ages. When asked if the comics would return to original numbering, he would only say, "Reboots are great for us."

TONIGHT!

On tonight's episode of the NBC sitcom Parks and Rec, Patton Oswalt plays a character who is supposed to filibuster the city council. Producers asked him improvise, and the result is a nine-minute long pitch perfect nerd-gasm for the new Star Wars movie, which crosses over with several other Disney properties including Marvel comics, X-men, Fantastic Four and Spiderman," not those second stringers like Hawkeye and Black Widow." Why wait, watch it now, complete unedited...

SPOILER ALERT....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BBhNkywMJY

Science Experiment

Following in the steps of networks like HBO, BBC America, AMC, and others. SY FY, the network largely known for it's paranormal based reality shows and wrestling, will be taking a huge leap into the Science Fiction genre. Not a huge risk given the tremendous successes of shows like Grimm, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Dr. Who, Revolution, Big Bang Theory, Conan.

But they are not just testing the waters, they are seemingly going all in. Last week they announced SEVEN new sci-fi series in development...

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/syfy-prepping-space-dramas-jason-436862

This week in product placement

Not stopping there either, Syfy is premiering another bold new experiment in broadcasting, and product placement. Monday, April 15, 9 p.m. an hour long, episodic video game commercial called Defiance. Named after it's feature product the Defiance video game. I think thee is even a product placement deal with a major automotive manufacturer.

But the kicker is, get this, IT HAS ADS!!!!! Sy Fy must be network for balls.

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! 

A big Weekly League News welcome to Tony Isabella and Tonettes. They'll be test driving the guest room over at the blog. Maybe playing a few sets at the lounge. Hopefully losing some cash at the casino...

Don't forget to tip your waitresses, I'll be back next week!

ANY STORY IDEAS?

They only let me do this because it's free, so feel free to help out! Email me all your best story ideas at theleagueboard@earthlink.net or just join the boards already so you can PM me there, and take advantage of all the other great membership perks! So go sign up and start a thread, I'll see you there!

A


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Vol. 1, No.1



GREAT

Robert Redford announced this week he'd be heading the super-spy agency SHIELD, in the next Avengers movie, tentatively titled Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Seriously. SHIELD, Falcon, Antman and Cap? It's an Avengers movie. During the announcement, Redford did stop to call Sam Jackson, and ordered him to start planning a field op where everyone involved with the new Gatsby remake will be taken out. Quietly.
http://www.deadline.com/2013/03/marvel-surprise-robert-redford-in-talks-to-star-in-captain-america-the-winter-soldier/

DR. NO

Sorry Stephen Moffat, I'm still not confusing the American Sherlock Holmes show with the Benedict Cumberbatch one. No matter how hard I try. MAKE LONGER TV SEASONS BRITISH PEOPLE! Seven episodes of Downton Abbey is a season?

SAD NEWS

Roger Ebert died this week. (Wasn't Bert the tall one?) He taught us all that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, but not everyone feels obligated to share them. Who would have thought two middle aged movie reviewers could do so much, with just two thumbs up. The writers switched mediums just in time to stay relevant for a little longer than most newspaper reviewers. I can respect that.

I GOT NADA

Y'know hiring Bruce Campbell to introduce a commercial for your stupid remake won't make me go.

Circus Family?

Yes, there are plans going about to have a memorial statue made for Bil Keane comic strip creator of the long running Family Circus. It was looking like funding wouldn't happen until the last minute, until Not Me finally revealed himself to the public carrying one of those ridiculously large checks. Let's hope little Billy won't "fill-in" for the sculptor. http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/9a363681a45c4196bb2502df18a82d65/AZ--Keane-Statue

MEH. 

Before Watchmen is over? Seriously, is it over yet? You want to get me excited, how about have Marvel do a BEFORE BENDIS company-wide crossover? Am I right? Am I right? A line of pre-Bendis Marvel books to be followed by Joe Quesada signing his soul over to Mephisto at the start of a massive company-wide reboot called, "Like I was never here!"

OKAY. OKAY. 

I would have liked to see one particular Before Watchmen comic. Before Watchmen: The Squid. To be done right it would sound a lot like the whale coming to terms with it's own improbable existence while falling to the planet in Hitchhiker's Guide. But you might be one of those great moments of literary introspection. The Squid. I consider it an artistic challenge.

BASTARDS! 

Cartoon Network's huge cartoon dump on Netflix streaming service earned the Network a 15% BUMP. Viacom and Nick have long complained about a downside to providing content to streaming services like Netflix, claiming lost ratings shares, but Cartoon Network just joined a short list of content providers that includes Disney XD, that actually saw increases in their ratings in Netflix subscribers homes. Nothing funny there just wanted to say crew you Viacom.
http://www.bizjournals.com/losangeles/news/2013/03/27/does-nickelodeon-really-have-a-netflix.html

THIS JUST IN! 

Apparently their were no negotiations between Conan O'Brien and TBS to produce a 12 am follow-up show Starring Jimmy Fallon. It was just a rumor started when reporters saw a cleaning crew at the old George Lopez studio and when pressed for comment, the crew responded, "for Jimmy Fallon. For when all the deals fall apart," Another worker said, "It could go to Leno if Jimmy has better lawyers than Conan did," another quipped, "Conan has it in his contract Leno can't have 10 pm, here at TBS, we got that Big Bang and Family Guy, besides Leno don't want to go up against no South Park reruns..."

THIS JUST IN!

Disney to lay off an additional 150. That makes the total, recent body count around 400. Some of that was due to the loss of The Clone Wars on the Cartoon Network. Hopefully some of those will get hired back as production gears up on any new Star Wars content for Disney networks.
http://www.bizjournals.com/losangeles/news/2013/04/09/disney-to-let-go-150-staffers-as-early.html
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/envelope/cotown/la-et-ct-disneys-lucasarts-halts-game-development-20130403,0,1991395.story

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! 

My boss is finally caught up on Walking Dead, so the likelihood of my "suicide" by spoiler is now greatly lessened.

ANY STORY IDEAS?

Email me at theleagueboard@earthlink.net or just join the boards already so you can PM me there, and take advantage of all the other great membership perks! So go sign up and start a thread, I'll see you there!


A